You’re Not Voting??

April 2, 2011 at 7:00 am Leave a comment

“Dr. Dave, the election is almost to the voting stage. What will happen?”

“Dear scholars, we are seeing things unfolding as they should. Canadians have acknowledged the uselessness of this election and have punished the Red Party for making us waste 300 million dollars. They are also giving the Blue Party a good scare.”

“Yes, we see that great mentor, but what about the Orange and Green Parties?”

“Ah, yes. The Orange Party is an interesting development in this vote scrabble. You will remember I said, ‘The Orange leader is a capable man doomed to fighting the fear left by the ghost of the inept former Ontario Orange Premier.’ The surge of Mr. Layton is testament to the fact that people consider him the most likely candidate to be considered for Prime Minister but they know he hasn’t enough depth behind him to form a viable government.”

“So Dr. Dave, you’re assuming the Blue Party will garner the most votes then?”

“They will my mentees. Canadians know that despite the mud-slinging, the Blue Party has guided us through the economic downturn in a fine fashion. They have given Canadians a much valued gift, namely, a reason to look south of the border and feel smug.”

“We do enjoy our economy being in the best shape in the G8 after the downturn and it’s great that our high dollar will now buy our dream home in Florida for a song, but we digress: what about the Green Party?”

“Alas, young ones, Canadians will drive Priuses and recycle no end but they are reluctant to elect a tree hugger to represent their riding since environmentally conscious folk are deemed to not be fiscally able.”

“Dr. Dave, we’ve heard of many people not voting or casting a protest vote. How is this done? Is there a protest box on the ballot?”

“A protest box would be a good idea, thus giving people who consider not voting, a reason to get out and make their position known. Right now though, the best way to cast a protest vote is to vote for the Green Party so that they may receive funding.”


“You see, when a Party gets over five percent of the votes in a riding where they run a candidate, the government gives them over two dollars per vote. Across the country this can add up to an amount that would allow the Green Party to promote their agenda. The Greens may even be able to elect a few candidates and be a needed voice in Parliament. And don’t forget: we must always vote. It’s a responsibility.”

“Very good, Dr. Dave.”

“Thank you. Our time here has ended. Look well to your vote my children.”


© Dave Jones/ Thunderbridge Productions 2011


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