At Donut World, Eh?

May 4, 2011 at 7:00 am 2 comments

Early morning after the election, I flipped the switch to a secretly planted microphone in the light fixture over table 11 at Donut World. Here’s the transcript:

Gord: Well Steve and the boys did pretty good last night, eh?

Johnny: Well, he got what he wanted, eh?

Harold: Yeah, but the real star was Jackie, Eh?

Gord: Jeez, he was hotter than a three dollar pistol, eh?

Harold: I’m thinkin’ he’ll be in the big job after the next ‘lection, eh?

Johnny: Don’t write Stevie off though, eh? He’s pretty smooth, ya know!

Red: I say to watch out fer that Lizzie May. She’s got her foot in th’ door now, gonna go places, that girl.

Gord: [expletive deleted], just dropped boiling [expletive deleted] coffee in my crotch, eh?

Johnny: Well now ya know how Iggy and Gilles feel, eh?!! [raucous laughter heard] They both got scorched pretty good last night, eh? [more raucous laughter] Gawd all fish hooks … I kill myself! [snorting /gasping for breath heard] …Ahhhh jeeez … betya though Iggy ends up back in the U.S., eh?

Red:Nah … Iggy’s gonna teach, eh? But that leaves it open fer Bobby Rae ta take over.

Harold: Well, I dunno, eh? I’m thinkin’ that Justin Trudeau lad is just sittin’ back smilin’, waitin’ for a leadership convention, eh?

Gord: [hoarse whisper} Really think… damaged m’self boys… can’t feel legs…

Red: I dunno Harold; I think Trudeau will let Bobby blow his brains out as leader first, eh?

Gord: [loud thump heard] [several expletives deleted] groannnn

Red: Don’t forget Bobby screwed up Ontario, eh?

Johnny: Nah… Mike Harris screwed up Ontario; Bobby was just a screw-up, eh? Dalton the Gimpy gives thanks to them every night, eh?

Harold: Where the [expletive deleted] is Gord? He run out on th’ bill or sumpthin’?

Red: Holy [expletive deleted]! He’s on th’ [expletive deleted] floor! Gord you OK?

Gord: Mmmpff, gargle, groan

Red: Johnny! Harold! – Rush ‘im over ta Emerg, eh? I’ll finish his Bearpaw and Dutchie!

[sound of commotion] [mic goes silent]

So that about sums up Election 2011, I guess.



© Dave Jones/ Thunderbridge Productions 2011


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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Lisa Llamrei  |  May 4, 2011 at 7:39 am

    That’s hilarious. I think I know that donut shop.

  • 2. Dale Long  |  May 4, 2011 at 8:04 am

    Do you write for This Hour Has Twenty-Two Minutes? Or Canadian Air Farce? You should!! I could totally see them doing that skit!

    That was hilarious!!

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