Doctor Dave is Dismayed

September 30, 2011 at 7:00 am Leave a comment

“Good morning dear students. Since Tuesday night was the weekly kegger at the Student Union, I assume no-one watched the provincial leaders debate. Yes, yes of course you did Leonard. Allow me to render unto you my sagacious thoughts for your edification.”

“Dr. Dave, could you speak softer please?”

“Ummm, Freddie ‘The Funnel’ is it? Yes, I will try. Now let me begin by stating that I am very dismayed.”

(All in unison) “Gasp! Why Dr. Dave? Why?”

“My secret fear has become obvious and certain: Ontario has no worthy leader and will have none after the election. The debate Tuesday night revealed no passion, no ideas and no answers to the questions put forth by the trusting public. There was only constant repetition of speaking points and no real punches thrown. Let me describe each participant:

Mr. McGuinty: He knows he is a majority Premier only by the luck of John Tory shooting himself in the foot during the 2007 election. Mr. McGuinty appeared nervous as he spouted ad nausea, his memorized numbers. Whether his constant arm motions were intentional or merely a nervous tick, he appeared to be conducting a pantomime of a sidewalk shell game artist. Psychologists would conclude he was trying to cover something up and distract attention from himself.

Mr. Hudak: This was his chance, as Blue Party leader, to define why he should be given the reins of power. He failed by not having a bold vision for Ontario despite one questioner asking for just that. He gave no compelling reason for change and didn’t address the fear that he was another Mike Harris, thereby fortifying that opinion. He came across as nice but limp and possibly untrustworthy .

Miss Horwath:  She was the only one that could be termed ‘feisty’. She made pointed asides but she too had no bold vision. She had a good command of the facts and figures and came across as the only one truly being ‘for’ the people. Unfortunately, she just barely overcame the curse of the attractive female politician, which is attractiveness making people deaf or dismissive. She could well become Premier after spending a successful term as opposition leader in the next government.”

“Wow, Dr. Dave, that is dismaying. What do we learn from this?”

“My poor dears; I’m afraid the lesson is that you have work to do. You must become involved in politics. Study political, economic and socially oriented subjects; determine a vision for the province and the country then join a party riding association of your choice and actively work to promote what you’ve determined. Politics needs the forceful injection of new young blood. It is a worthy pursuit.”

“Should we bother voting on October sixth, then?”

“I predict another Liberal majority, although Mr. McGuinty’s subliminal shell game message may result in a Liberal minority, but you must always vote. Now I propose as you file out that you avail yourselves of the bowl of aspirin, jug of Pepto Bismol and hot coffee near the door. Good day, future leaders.”

Peace

© David Jones/ Thunderbridge Productions 2011

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